After careful consideration and a thorough evaluation of all the options (a short chat one night) we have reached a momentous decision. Even though we don’t know whether the baby will be a boy or a girl, we have decided that it will definitely…….. have a name.
Our only discussion of names succeeded in ruling out many options, but that didn’t help either. I had hoped that by the time we had eliminated the names of every footballer (rugby players would have been fine), pop star and breakfast TV presenter there wouldn’t be many names left. But I was wrong. Looking at the names with the highest and lowest average GCSE results didn’t help much either. We had already ruled out Kylie, Charlene, Wayne, Dwayne and Duane (yes both spellings are in the bottom ten) and Emily and Charlotte (amongst the top scoring names at GCSE) are out of the question as the baby’s future aunts have already bagged them.
Whilst I’m on the educational theme, it is worth noting that summer born children tend to do less well academically. Or more specifically summer born boys do less well. Since we don’t want to find out the sex of our child in advance, I would welcome suggestions for other ways around this problem. For instance, if the birth happened in Australia (where it is winter in July) would that solve the problem? Would it help if it was a particularly cold summer? (Probably not – they usually are and yet the effect still exists.) What are the chances of Kirsty crossing her legs until 1 September?
In the meantime, the unborn baby will continue to be known mostly as the bean, sometimes as the bump and if it’s future paternal grandmother gets her way, as the smidget.
This is future-smid-dad, signing off.