Today was nice.
Weekends can be a tussle. an endless string of negotiations: Can you keep an eye on the kids for ten minutes so I can fix this hinge? Half an hour while I make dinner? Can you sort the changing bag? We’re going to be late! All is found -shoes on!
But now there is nowhere to go and, for today at least, no work or school. There was no rushing, no begging for moments. The kids played in the garden, the March sun enough to warm up the fake grass* to the point where we could lie on it. MrSB was dispatched to our local shops in the hope he would find bread and lentils and not soviet style queues. He returned with almost everything! At least Some things never change, Nunhead’s local shops are still bloody wonderful.
The worry and the work of the day lay low. In emails and websites. Today I am a stay at home mum with a toddler. On Monday I step into the unknown. Somehow trying to do all the things I already do while also becoming a full-time teacher to two different classes at once. The kid’s wonderful school have provided all the work we need. I’m glad of that, I was getting overwhelmed by all the options being shared online. But it’s daunting. It took a while just to figure out which document went with which subject. I don’t think grammar existed when I was at primary school in the 80’s. How was I to know it would matter when I’m older? Now I have to teach it to a seven year old who probably knows more than me.
To be honest I had also been harboring a little fantasy about grabbing our tent, running off and just getting lost in the woods. A camping trip we do every year with friends is rightly postponed, as is a women-only weekend under canvas that I was looking forward to in April. Two beloved landmarks of our year, a week on a farm in Cornwall and a summer of festivals, hang uncertainly. I long to be under trees, on a beach, windswept on a moor.
I should probably admit at this point that I am actually writing this on Sunday morning. Already my intentions of a daily diary have fallen by the wayside. In this case the way was a virtual queue to get onto the Ocado website. After about 40 mins of shouting show yourself! at a little green van icon and nudging my geriatric laptop to keep it awake, I managed to get in and then spent almost two hours editing orders for myself, adding on items for a friend and doing a shop for my parents, hundreds of miles away.
So I’ll sign off here as I am about to be presented with breakfast in bed by MissM (despite the fact I’ve already been up for a while and eaten breakfast). I’d almost forgotten it was mothers day, there will be no meal out and I expect I’ll spend most of it on school prep. That’s fine. Next year, (please please let this be true) we will celebrate. Things will be some kind of normal. We will go out and eat and see people, I’ll be looking forward to hugging my own mum. Right now, I will brace myself for some dubious toast, then get up and do the next right thing.
Oh yes and we watched Frozen two. The songs are now all stuck in my head. You might have noticed…..
PS. For anyone who did notice, yes, I decided to skip Raindeers Are Better Than People!
* Yes I know, I do feel a bit guilty about the fake grass but in a tiny, well-trodden garden it is a bloody marvel